Learning To Breathe!
by DarkDaughter1318
Summary: Episode 3X12: After Damon catches Stefan's right hook, he goes to check on Elena. When he finds her, she's distraught and thinking hard about what Stefan said. Is she learning to breathe without him?
1. Chapter 1

I sat in my room, sitting on my bed, replaying Stefan's words over and over in my head. They were all I'd heard since I'd watched him leave. _You're better than him, Elena. You're better than both of us. _He was wrong. I wasn't better than anyone. Just like the both of them, I had flaws. I wasn't perfect, and didn't deserve perfection. I kissed Damon. I'd kissed him, and I didn't regret it. I didn't push him away this time, like I'd done so many times before. In that moment, I needed it. I needed him to kiss me, because it was out there on that porch that I realized that I loved him too. I'd fought the feelings away for so long, hoping that maybe they'd go away, but they didn't. They got stronger with time, and it all lead up to that point. Did I feel guilty? A little. Did I regret it? No. If I could go back would I change it, would I? Probably not. Maybe Damon was right about what he said. I knew he'd known my feelings all along, even when I didn't want to admit them.

"It's right… just not right now." I whispered softly, recalling his words from the porch last night.

"It's true." He said. His voice caused me to jump. I looked up to find him standing in my doorway, leaning up against the door frame.

"What are you doing here?"

"Figured I'd stop by and check on you. See how everything went." He told me. I rolled my eyes.

"Stefan told you what happened, didn't he?"

"Yes. I should have gone with you. I would have been able to handle it, and none of this would have happened had you not said no." He said, crossing his arms.

"I don't think you would have been able to do anything with Jamie's wooden bullets lodged into your chest."

"I would have managed." He said. He took a few steps into my room, and sat down on the edge of my bed. He turned to look at me. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine..." I said.

"What were you thinking about before I said something?" He asked.

"I told Stefan that we kissed." I finally said. I noticed that he reached up and rubbed his jaw.

"Yeah, someone had to tell him. It's probably better that you did. I'm sure I would have told him in a more… entertaining way." He said, smirking slightly. I rolled my eyes. "I guess that probably explains the right hook I took to the face when he got home."

"He hit you?"

"Why wouldn't he? I kissed you." He said.

"He didn't want me anymore. It's none of his concern what I do now." I said, shaking my head. I'd felt compassion for Stefan for the longest time, regardless of how things had turned out. He apologized for the bridge, and kidnapping me and I'd forgiven him… but what I would never forgive him for is giving up on me. He walked away from me, when I was ready to help him, save him no matter what the price. It then became obvious that he didn't want to be saved, that he was over me, us, and any future we might have had. He had no right to be upset. He had no right to tell me who I was and wasn't better than. He gave me up. It was his fault.

"Was he upset?" Damon finally asked me.

"He told me I was better than you… that I was better than the both of you." I said, as I met his electric blue eyed gaze. He stared at me for a few seconds before he looked down.

"He's right." He murmured softly, as if he were deep in thought. I shook my head, and scooted closer to him, laying my hand over his.

"No… He isn't right. Damon, I've watched you grow so much. I've watched the man you've become. When I first met you, and found out what you were, I thought you were a monster, but you're not. I don't care what you've done, how many people you've killed, or turned, or any of that. It doesn't matter now. What matters is that you're not that person any more. I thought you were a heartless person, but you're not. You're a vampire, yes. You're instincts are constantly telling you to kill… I know that too, but what I really know is that you're so much more than that. You've become so much more than that. You are amazing, and to be honest… I don't know where I'd be without you right now." I said, the words flowing out of me. I'd never planned on telling him any of that, but I could tell by the look on his face when I told him what Stefan said, that he needed it.

"Elena…" He started. I watched as his eyes trailed down my face to my lips, and back up to meet my eyes. He leaned in and laid his forehead against mine, his eyes boring into mine. It was moments like these that I felt so vulnerable, because it was like he could see into my soul. Damon knew me, knew me on a level so profound, it was crazy. It was in his eyes, I could see that he wanted to kiss me, but he wasn't going to make the move, afraid of my reaction. I didn't give him time to decide. I leaned in, and pressed my lips to his, reaching up and touching his face gently. The kiss lasted longer than the one we'd shared on the porch, not that I was protesting in any way. He cupped my face in his hands and pulled away. He didn't go far, leaving maybe an inch between us. "I love you." He whispered, the words dripping sincerity. I could see it in his eyes, that he meant it more than anything he'd ever said to me before. I knew I could break him in this moment like I had so many times before, like the time I told him that it would always be Stefan. I wouldn't do that again, because I knew now that that hadn't been true. I smiled.

"I love you too." I whispered, running a hand through his hair. He smiled slightly, his eyes sparkling in the glow of the moon coming in through my window.

"You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that." He admitted. I looked down and back up to meet his gaze.

"You don't know how long it's took me to figure it out for myself." He chuckled.

"Yeah, I do." He said. I smiled. I watched as his smile faded slightly. "I have something to tell you." I could tell it was serious. It was bad, I know… but Stefan was the first thing that ran through my mind.

"What?" I asked. He pulled something out of his leather coat, and handed it to me. It was a dagger, one of the daggers that were used to stake an original. I stared at it for the longest time before I looked up at his. "What did you do?" I asked.

"I undaggered Elijah."

"Why would you-? I don't understand. Why would you do that?" I said, on my feet.

"He can help us, Elena. He's pissed off at Klaus. Klaus daggered him when he promised to reunite him with his family. Do you really think he'd been on Klaus' side?" He asked.

"We trusted him once and he betrayed us. What makes you think he won't do it again?" I demanded.

"Elena, he did what he did because of family. He loves his family. That doesn't make it right, no… but I understand where he's coming from to an extent. He's pissed off and vengeful now. I think he can help us."

"And what if he doesn't? What if he's on Klaus' side? What then, because we'll be screwed." I told him, running a hand through my hair as I paced. I couldn't believe he'd done it, but at the same time… I could. Damon was a bit impulsive, and if he thought it was right, he was going to do it.

"Then I'll dagger him again, and he won't be an issue." He said, standing up and stepping in front of me to stop my pacing. He took my face in his hands. "I'll handle this. I just wanted to let you know in case you run into him."

"You won't be daggering anyone, Damon. You know it will kill you."

"If it'll protect you, Elena… I'll have no choice." He told me. My blood ran cold.

"No!" I said, shaking my head. "You cannot do that. Damon, promise me you won't."

"If he becomes a problem, it's my responsibly Elena, I undaggered him." He said. I shook my head.

"No, Damon… Promise me you won't do that. You can't take yourself away from me." He met my eyes. I grabbed his face. "Promise me!" I demanded. He sighed.

"Alright, I promise." I shook my head.

"I can't imagine a world without you in it, Damon… You can't do that to me." I told him. He smiled and pulled me into his arms, holding me tight against his chest.

"I'm not going anywhere." He whispered into my hair.

"Good. I can't take losing you too."

"I know." He murmured. I looked up at him.

"It hasn't been until just recently that I realized… I really have lost everything." I said.

"You haven't lost everything."

"You're all I have left. You, and Alaric, and Bonnie. That's pretty much it."

"You're forgetting vampire Barbie." He told me. I rolled my eyes.

"Caroline hates it when you call her that."

"That's why I do it." He said. I shook my head.

"Jenna's dead, my real mother and father are dead, along with my other parents, Stefan's gone, Jeremy's gone too. I mean, really… everything has been taken away from me. So, you have to understand that I don't ask you to promise me things like this because I want to annoy you. I do it because I can't take losing another person."

"I know, Elena." He said, running a hand through my hair. I wrapped my arms back around my waist, and laid my head against his chest.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"For what?" He asked.

"For being here."

"I'll always be right here." He promised. It was dangerous to promise me that, but it soothed me a little more, so I didn't care. I yawned, causing him to smile.

"Get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow." He said.

"Don't leave." I asked.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure… I don't want to be alone." I said, looking down. He just nodded. I crawled into bed, as he walked around the other side, and kicked off his shoes, crawling in beside me. I buried my face into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me.

"It's like for the first time in a long time, I can breathe." I told him. He pulled my face up to look at him.

"That's all I want you to do. Keep breathing." He said, pressing a quick and gentle kiss to my lips.

"Goodnight Damon." I whispered.

"Goodnight." He said. I looked up, my eyes falling on my window. Outside on the branch, I swear I saw a pair of green eyes looking in my window. I disregarded it, and nuzzled myself closer into Damon's side.


	2. Chapter 2

When I awoke the next morning, my bed was empty except for a small piece of paper. I picked it up, letting my eyes adjust to being open before I read it.

_Elena,_

_Thank you for allowing me to stay last night. I needed that. I'll see you later, I'm sure. I've got some things to take care of. Call if you need me. _

_-Damon. _

_p.s. I love you. _

I stared at the last part for what seemed like forever. _I love you. _I could hear his voice in my head, remembering when he'd told me that last night. I felt semi-guilty after what I'd done last night, the way I'd been to Stefan if it really was him outside my window. I sighed, and ran a hand through my hair. I looked up to find Alaric standing in my door. I jumped a little, causing him to frown.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." He said. I shrugged.

"It doesn't take much these days. You never know what's lurking around the corner anymore."

"Isn't that the truth?" He muttered. I smiled.

"What's up?"

"I'm going down to the grill to have lunch with a friend. I was just letting you know that I was leaving." He said.

"Having lunch with that lady that was here last night?" I asked. He looked down. "Ric, I meant what I said last night. You have to move on… Jenna would want that for you, and you know that."

"I doubt Stefan is thinking the same thing." He told me. My body tensed.

"I'm sorry… what?" I asked.

"You're moving on from Stefan, Elena… I see that. I noticed that Damon didn't leave last night." He said. I looked away.

"Ric, I-." He cut me off.

"I'm not going to tell you that what you're doing is right or wrong, especially since every time I see Dr. Fell it feels wrong. I just wanna make sure you're making the right choices for you." He said.

"When have I ever made a choice that was right for me, Ric?" I asked him. He chuckled.

"Just be careful, Elena. Stefan might not react so-."

"Stefan know's where we stand. There's nothing more I can do for him. He doesn't want to be saved, and he's made that very clear." I told him. Ric just nodded.

"Okay, we'll I'm leaving. Call me if you need me." He said. I smiled.

"Have fun, Ric."

"Will do." He said, as he walked away. I could almost hear his eyes roll. I got up, and showered, doing my hair and make-up before heading downstairs. I sat down at the counter with a bowl of cereal, when I noticed that the house was way to quiet. Normally Jeremy would be upstairs making noise, playing music or something, or Jenna would be down here cooking breakfast, but there was none of that anymore. They were both gone. It was just me now. I heard what sounded like footsteps behind me, and my entire body froze. I snatched the knife off the counter, and jumped out of my chair, turning to find Stefan standing there.

"Oh my god, are you out of your mind? Don't sneak up on me like that." I snapped at him.

"Sorry… I was coming to talk to Alaric, is he here?"

"Just missed him. He's at the grill having lunch with his new lady friend." I told him. I still had the knife held firmly in my hand. I set it down on the counter, and looked back at him. "What'd you want to talk to Ric about?" I asked.

"Private stuff?" He replied simply, his voice and face icy and hard.

"Elijah stuff?" I asked.

"Of course he'd tell you."

"Obviously meaning that you didn't plan too. What do you think my reaction would have been when I saw someone who was supposed to be dead roaming the streets?" I asked.

"It wouldn't be the first time." He said, shrugging it off. I rolled my eyes and turning back to my cereal.

"You know where the door is, thanks."

"Elena, don't-." I turned back to him, and cut him off.

"No, Stefan… You don't. You say how I've become stronger and all this crap and then you still won't tell me anything. I need to know things too. I'm in this mess because of you. We're all in this mess because of you." I snapped at him.

"Elena, don't pretend to understand. I don't expect you too."

"Get out of my house, Stefan." I snapped at him.

"I've been invited in." He said, coolly obviously trying to work my nerves. I picked up the knife off the counter, and took a few steps forward.

"I said; get out of my house, Stefan." He chuckled.

"You wouldn't." I walked closer to him, knife in hand.

"I don't want you here. Go."

"You made that very obvious last night." He said. The knife slid from my hand and clattered to the floor.

"I knew it was you out there."

"I know." He said, shaking his head.

"Stefan, you don't understand and I don't expect you too." I said, looking down.

"I understand perfectly fine, Elena. I saw you two last night."

"You made it this way you know." I murmured.

"I didn't-."

"You gave up on me; you walked away from me when I was ready to give everything up to save you. I would have done anything and everything in my power to help you, but you gave up. You walked away from your humanity, when I could have saved it. I could have saved you. You didn't lose me the moment you left town with him because I was tracking the both of you. I wasn't giving up hope. I didn't want to give up hope, but that night when you told me it was done, that you didn't want to be saved, it was over, Stefan. There was nothing more I could do. I watched Klaus when he shut off your humanity, but I wasn't going to let that stop me from saving you. You let it stop you from wanting to be saved. You gave up, and Damon was here for me, he pick-."

"I don't want to hear about what my brother did for you." He growled.

"Good, then you know that he's never given up on me, he's never walked away from me, and I know that he won't. You lead us to this, Stefan."

"I saved his life, and he owed me. Instead, he goes after the one thing that I had and he didn't." He told me, running a hand through his hair.

"He loves me."

"He doesn't know what love is." He snapped.

"No, you don't know what love is, Stefan. Love is never giving up, never losing faith that you'll be together no matter how impossible the odds. You didn't lose me the moment you left town, Stefan. You lost me the moment you gave up hope." I watched as what looked like pain flashed through his green eyes, before he shook his head.

"Good-bye, Elena." He said, before turning and walking out. I let him go, knowing that nothing I could say would make this better. He left the door open, so I groaned as I walked to shut it.

"We're you born in a barn?" I muttered. The moment I stepped into view of the open door, a person was standing there. _Elijah. _

"Hello Elena, it's nice to see you again." He said, his voice calm and smooth.

"Elijah…Hi."

"I see you've already been informed of Damon undaggering me." He said.

"Yes, I have. He told me last night." I said. I could have sworn that Jenna invited him in, but instead, he stood on the other side of the doorframe. "Have you not been invited in?"

"I have been, but I'm being courteous and waiting for you to invite me in, since this is your home now." He said. I nodded.

"Ahh, right. Come in." I said. He smiled and stepped through the doorway. I shut the door behind him, and locked it.

"I believe an apology is in order. I'm so sorry for my lapse in better judgment the last time we met. I wanted to be with my family again, I'm sure you can understand that to an extent." He told me. I nodded.

"I can."

"I'm also terribly sorry about your Aunt Jenna. She was such a nice woman." I just nodded again. "I'm not going to let Nicklaus fool me again. I'm terribly sorry that I let him do it the first time. I promise I'm fully and completely on your side. I know now that the only way to have my family whole again is to take Nicklaus out of the picture… for good." He said.

"Do you know how to do that?"

"Not yet. I will, and soon hopefully." He said.

"And what about after he's dead. What about all of your family?"

"I will take them far away from this place, and undagger them." He promised. I nodded.

"That sounds excellent. We don't need any more originals running around here… No offense." He chuckled slightly.

"None taken, I assure you." He said. "I must go. I've got some business to take care of."

"Okay… Let me know if you find anything out, please… Since the Salvatore brothers like to keep me out of the loop sometimes." I said.

"Do you ever stop to think that maybe you're left out of the loop because it's in your best interest?"

"No, because most of the time when I am left out of the loop, I'm nearly killed, or someone I love is almost killed." I told him. He looked down.

"Maybe you're right then. I will let you know, Elena. Till then." He said, nodding and walking to the door, and leaving. I went back to my bowl of cereal that was now soggy and disgusting. I sighed and poured it into the trash, losing my appetite anyway. I sat down at the counter, not really knowing what to do anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

I sat in the living room, feet propped up with a tub of ice cream. It was keeping me occupied, regardless of how fattening it was. I was mid spoonful of ice cream when my phone rang. I expected Damon, but instead it was Bonnie.

"Hello?"

"Hey Elena, how are you doing?" She asked.

"I'm… I'm hanging in there. How about you?"

"I'm alright. I'm going to talk to my mom again today." She told me.

"Really? That's good." I said.

"I guess. I'm not really up for it, but what choice do I have. She might be our only way of opening the coffin." She said.

"Do you want me to go with you? I can if you want me too. I mean, my afternoon only consists of shoving my face full of ice cream and watching lifetime movies." I told her. She laughed. I think it was the first time I'd heard Bonnie laugh in awhile. It was nice.

"Boy, how I wish I could be doing that too. No, I think I'm going to go this one alone." She told me.

"Alright, if you need me, you know where I am, and how to get a hold of me." I said.

"Yes ma'am." She said. She was quiet for a second, before she spoke again. "Have you talked to Damon?"

"You know about Elijah?" I asked.

"Yeah, I do. He called me to tell me so I wouldn't kill him if I saw him on the streets."

"Because naturally, that would be your first reaction is to drop him right there in the middle of the town." I said, shaking my head.

"Damon thinks with his own reactions in mind." Bonnie said.

"I know." I told her.

"So, I'm gonna go. I'll call you and let you know how everything goes." She told me.

"Okay. Have fun."

"You know I will." She said, before the line went dead. I sighed, completely bored with what was on TV.

"Ooh, Ice cream." I heard from behind me. I turned to find Damon standing at the bottom of the stairs. He walked over and pulled the tub out of my hand, eating the spoonful I was about to eat.

"Hey!" I complained.

"Ice cream is fattening you know. You're going to get fat if you keep eating your feelings, Elena." He said. I growled, and snatched my tub of ice cream back out of his hand as he sat down next to me.

"Maybe no one will want a fat doppelganger." I teased.

"I know I won't." He said, doing that eye thing that secretly drove me insane. My jaw dropped though, and I scooted away from him.

"That was mean." I said.

"I was kidding." He said, scooting closer to me. I finally got up and walked into the kitchen to put the ice cream away. He got up and followed. "So, how's your morning been?" He asked.

"Boring. I've been visited by a few people though." He raised an eyebrow.

"Stefan came by to talk to Ric, and we kind of got into it, and then… Elijah stopped by." I told him.

"He came here?" I nodded.

"Right after Stefan left." I told him.

"What did he want? You didn't make any more idiotic deals with him, did you?" He asked.

"No. I didn't… yet." I said.

"Elena!" I chastised me.

"I'm teasing. Don't get your thong in a bunch. Everyone's so uptight these days. When's the last time you actually stepped back and had a good time, Damon? I mean… really?"

"I considered last night a good time." I shook my head.

"You know what I mean." I said.

"It's been awhile, but I don't have time when I'm trying to rid Mystic Falls of Klaus." He told me.

"Exactly. We have the locked coffin, Elijah is undaggered, and Stefan is here to handle it. Let's get out of here… Just you and me for a little while."

"The last time I took you from Mystic Falls to have a good time; you told me I was kidnapping you." He told me. I rolled my eyes.

"That was different. You really didn't kidnap me then."

"Kidnapping is such a horrible term." He said. I sighed.

"Damon, I'm serious." I told him.

"I don't know if that is such a good idea, Elena. Do you remember what happened in Atlanta?" He asked.

"That was different. If you hadn't killed Lexi, we wouldn't have had that problem." I told him.

"I've killed a lot of people. You never know who'll come after me next."

"And I'll be there to save your ass again, Damon… please. I need to get out of here for a little while, or I will eat myself to death and become the fat doppelganger." I told him, smiling.

"We can't have that, can we?" He asked. I pushed him playfully.

"Shut up." I said.

"So, where are we going?" He asked.

"Surprise me?" He sat there for a second, before nodding.

"Got it. Grab some towels, and we'll go." He said. I raised an eyebrow.

"Towels?" I asked. He nodded.

"Just trust me." He said.

"I do." I told him, walking to the linen cabinet and grabbing some towels. I grabbed my cell phone, ran a brush through my hair, and smiled. "Ready." He nodded as we went out and got into his car.

"We going far?" I asked.

"Not as far as last time, although it will probably be close to dark when we get there." He said. I smiled. The car was silent for a little while, before he spoke again. "So, you said Stefan and you got into it?" He asked.

"Yeah, we did."

"What about?" He asked me. I sighed.

"About him keeping stuff from me. He didn't plan to tell me about Elijah." I told him. Damon shook his head.

"Little brother needs to learn that there are things you should keep to yourself, and things you shouldn't. You needed to know about Elijah." He said, voice hard. I could tell I'd screwed up whatever understanding there had been between them. We drove for awhile, before my phone rang. _Stefan. _His number lit up my phone. Damon must have guessed because he took my phone and answered.

"Hello little brother." Damon said. He placed the phone on speaker, and set it on the dash.

"Why do you have Elena's phone?"

"Elena's taking a break. Therefore, she's no answering phone calls. Is there something I can help you with?" He asked.

"Nope… nothing you can help with." Stefan said, before hanging up. Damon rolled his eyes, and handed my phone back to me.

"All taken care of."

"What if something was wrong?" I asked. He sighed.

"See, this is one of the reasons I didn't want to take you anywhere. I knew you'd be all. 'Oh my god, what if something's wrong? I've got to go save the day.' Like you always do." He said. I sat there for a second, realizing that he was right. I did do that. I just nodded.

"I promise I won't." I said.

"You're sure? We can go back?"

"Not when we've come this far, no. Let's go." I told him. The drive over was pretty silent, until he pulled into a city parking lot. He smiled.

"We're here." He said. That's when I saw the sign that said VIRGINIA BEACH. I smiled.

"I haven't been here since I was a kid." I told him. He shrugged.

"I figured it would be a good place to get away. We made it just in time to watch the sun set anyway." He said. We got out of the car and headed out into the sand. We found a big empty spot and sat down, watching the sun slowly disappear behind the horizon.

"This is beautiful." I told him.

"I know you are." He said, smirking at me. I shook my head at him, smiling.

"Thank you for doing this."

"Not a problem. I was about tired of the place too." He told me. I sighed.

"Do you really think Elijah is going to help us kill Klaus?" I asked him. He looked at me, and back at the sand.

"God, I hope so." He told me.

"Me too." I whispered, laying my head over on his shoulder, as night finally settled in. We sat there for the longest time in silence, before he placed his hand over mine.

"Wanna go for a walk?" He asked.

"Sure." I murmured, as we stood up and walked down the beach. He took my hand in his, intertwining out fingers as we walked through the dark. I'd shed my shoes and had my feet in the way Atlantic Ocean. It was nice, being away from all the hecticness of Mystic Falls.

"I never pictured us doing this." Damon murmured.

"Without you kidnapping me?" I asked. He sighed.

"That's such an ugly word. I didn't kidnap you."

"Whatever." I muttered, smiling. He shook his head at me. He pulled me to a stop, and wrapped his arms around my waist. I couldn't help myself then. I reached up on my tip toes and kissed him. When I pulled away, I sighed. "Why can't things be this easy?"

"This easy?" He asked.

"As easy as what you and I have? It's like breathing. Loving you just kinda happens. How come life can't be like that?" I asked, talking more to myself than him. He answered anyway.

"I don't know, but at least you know you'll never be bored." He tried. I sighed.

"I'd rather be bored than almost dead." I muttered.

"I guess you're right." He said.

"Sometimes… I think it would have been so much easier if I would have died on that bridge with my parents that night. You and Stefan would never be in this mess." I said. He grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him.

"Don't you ever think that, do you understand me?" He growled.

"Do you ever think about what your life would be like had you not met me? What your life would be if you didn't have to deal with all this?" I asked.

"It wouldn't be much of a life had I not met you." He told me, moving a piece of hair out of my face.

"I wouldn't ever wish this on anyone." I said. "I'm sorry that you have to put up with it." He kissed me gently, before shaking his head.

"I'd do it over and over again if I get to be with you. Don't ever think that you're a burden to me… you're not. I love you, and I'll do whatever's necessary to keep you around." He said. A stray tear ran down my cheek.

"Stefan was wrong, when he said that I was better than you. You're better than me." I whispered, avoiding his eyes.

"No… Don't you ever think that. Elena, you're so good. You're so perfect, and everything that is beautiful in the world. You were right about me having changed. I've changed, and you want to know who made me this way? You. I want to be good for you. I want to be worthy of you, and no matter what I have to do to make me worthy, I'll do it. You've made me into the vampire you see before you, and I'd do it a hundred times over for you." He told me. I looked up to meet his eyes.

"You are amazing." I whispered to him.

"Only for you." He said. I smiled slightly, as he kissed my forehead. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. In this moment, Damon was everything I needed.


End file.
